What Is And What Shall Never Be

Today, I went to see the local high school's production of Sweeney Todd. As a school committee member, I have a ticket to all the productions our theater department puts on, and I finally decided to take up that complementary ticket. Sweeney's a great show, and I had been hearing wonderful things about the production, including the young actress playing Mrs. Lovett. She was a big part of the reason I decided to attend.

In my other life, I was married to this young woman's uncle, Kevin. Early in our courtship, I was invited to attend her christening. Of all of his brothers and sisters, I had the best relationship with her mom and dad. Her dad and I often joked that we were the "outlaws", rather than inlaws, and genuinely enjoyed one another. I suppose, beside from Kevin, my departure from the family hurt them deeply. I'm sure it did. Over the years, that wound has healed, to a point, and when I've seen my former brother-in-law around town, we've been able to have cordial conversations. I saw him most recently on Primary Day, as I was holding a sign for a state senate candidate, and we had a long chat, where he caught me up on all the family gossip, and told me that his daughter had the lead in Sweeney Todd. He hoped I would try and catch it.

So, I did. And she was wonderful. She has a lovely singing voice, and really brought that character to life. I'll admit, I chuckled to myself at the thought of her playing a deranged woman who made "meat" pies (her grandmother, my former mother-in-law, she and I never really saw eye to eye, we'll say, made meat pies at the holidays), but I was so impressed with the young woman she's become, as I was equally impressed watching her brother graduate this year, from my post on the stage at the high school graduation ceremony. Their parents are clearly, and rightfully, quite proud of both of them. And, I was a little wistful watching her sing.

I lingered at the end to congratulate some of the other students in the performance, and I walked up to her and introduced myself simply as Courtney from the School Committee, and praised her performance. I have no idea if she has any recollection of me; likely not, and it was not the moment to bring that up in any way. I'm not sure if her parents will remind her; also likely not. But the wistful came from knowing that I once had the chance to watch this little girl become this talented young actress. Which is not to say, at all, that I'm wishing I were still married; that's not it. But it is acknowledging what I lost, and what could have been. I don't regret much about the life I gave up so many years ago, but today, I had a little regret about this lost connection, the girl, her brother, their parents.

Sometimes, the past comes back to say hello, to assert itself back into your memory, and your consciousness of how different your life could have been, "if only this", or "if only that". Even good decisions have a flip side, just like everything standing in the sun has a shadow, too.

Do I Dare Disturb the Interwebs?

I'll admit it; I LOL'd...

It's actually quite clever, despite the fact that T.S. Eliot may be rolling in his grave. However, since some of those references in "The Wasteland" need detailed annotations themselves, perhaps this parody will end up as timeless as the original. Which, is one of my favorite poems of all time.

The .DOC File of J. Alfred Prufrock.

Taking It Down A Notch For America

It's been an incredibly trying, long week. I've been struggling to put thoughts together about the things that are going on in my world. Today, at work, while creating forms and notices, I was keeping an eye on my news reader, and Travelocity. As fun as Twitter and Facebook are, not all of you follow me on those places. So, some of the things I tweeted today...

Sacha Baron Cohen to play Freddie Mercury. The more I think about this, and his ability to completely become whatever character he assumes, the more I love it. Plus, he's physically perfect.

Lennon/Yoko "outtake" up for auction. Oh to be independently wealthy...

Don Mattingly to replace Torre. Shouldn't this be in pinstripes, though? Long live Mattingly (those of you who were reading in 2007 know the joke behind that phrase).

And finally, the Rally to Restore Sanity. My friend has booked the hotel room; we're leaving Newton right after work on the 29th, with a quick overnight in Delaware. Then, onto the rational discussion about the nation's problems. No hysteria, costumes, poorly spelled signs. I am so excited for this. :)

I cannot talk about work, as it depresses me. So, take a look where my brain took me to keep me from falling down this week.

And thank you, Sean, for talking me off the ledges. Glad you're back. Hoisting a cross-continental beer in your direction.

Peace Train, Take This Country, Come Bring Me Home Again

Not only do we have to remember those who died, we have to remember those who continue to live their lives in that events shadow, and by letting them move forward and reclaim life, we move forward and reclaim life.

Channeling the Pissed

"And if my thought-dreams could been seen
They'd probably put my head in a guillotine
But it's alright, Ma, it's life, and life only..."

Just not a good day. It'll pass.

It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Bleeding - Bob Dylan

MP3 File

And Everywhere We Go, The Sun Won't Always Shine

This is Our Lady of Clonfert. If you read her legend, you will see she is a survivor.



This is Our Lady's prayer. I almost didn't discover this prayer. I was feeling tired that afternoon, and didn't want to get off the bus and go into this tiny, ordinary, modern church to see the Madonna they pulled from the bog. But, she called me, and I went in to look. I picked up the Mass Card near the statue and read her prayer, and dug around for euros because I knew I needed to have this prayer with me when I went back home.

Our Lady of Clonfert, I come to you, as one of your children, who will never forget the importance of a woman like you. I come because I believe in you. I come to say thanks for the past and the present and ask you to bless me in the future.

You know me, you know how I live and you know my needs. Please help me especially when I need you most. I have problems, worries, and anxieties the same as everyone else--help me to cope. So often I would just love to give up when life hurts me and people betray me, but give me the courage never to lose heart.

Bless my family, my life, and my friends. Help me, no matter what happens to me in life, to believe, to trust, and to hope. Our Lady of Clonfert, Pray for us.

I'm not offering up this prayer, or this song, for me tonight. But I am offering it up for someone. Praying that this person continues to believe, to trust, and to hope.

Beautiful - Christina Aguilera

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School Daze

So, the storm has begun, and I'm not talking Hurricane Earl.

A little light reading to get you all in the spirit.

Making healthier school lunches.

Evaluating teachers: who's getting the grades now? H/T to Dana, because here's the link to the database referenced in the NY Times article.

Our litigious nature: suing the school.

Happy New Year!