Close My Eyes and Think of You

Reblog, as I have little to say today. Overdid it walking on my foot, missing Christopher, getting bored with my couch. So, here's a snapshot, and a song from the mix, too.

***
This morning, I had such a memory surge. I was in my office, preparing some material to do educational testing (last mention of my "real job"), and I had to cue up a cassette tape. I stuck my pinky finger in the hole to advance the tape, and suddenly, every instance of making a mix tape came flooding back to me in a rush. Because, if you remember, to get the maximum amount of audio onto those 45 minute sides, you needed to advance the tape forward, so that half of the recording tape showed, and not just the blank leader film. Do you remember? Or is it that you were possibly not as anal as I was about squeezing every second out of it?

Here's a song from one of the classic mix tapes of my life.

Star Power - Sonic Youth

There Is No Past, There's Only Future

An exciting vision of one, to boot. Sitting around all day makes me thoughtful. It's all good, though, and all in front of us.

These Are The Days - Van Morrison

Shows Me Where All Of My Beginnings Are

This band opened for Alison Krauss last night, and they were a pleasant surprise. A little like The Band, a little like Mumford and Sons, very musical and lyrical and vivid. I really enjoyed them. Like I did with Murder by Death, I went(well, hobbled) out to the merchandise table and bought the cd at the end of the show. The guys in the band were out there, saying hello and thanking people.

A great night of music, a great night of joy.

So Well - Dawes

More Summer Than The California Beach Can Hold

Tonight, Christopher and I are off to see Alison Krauss and Union Station. I'm so excited to see her. In awe of her voice. So beautiful and expressive. Hoping it changes my dour mood.

My Love Follows You Where You Go - Alison Krauss and Union Station

The More Things Change...

I was a particularly klutzy child. Beginning at 18 months, when I smacked my head on the coffee table and required stitches, to a compound fracture of my right leg at 2 1/2, a broken nose, fingers, more stitches, various trips and falls and walking in to walls. Coordination and I have a tenuous relationship. Yoga has been immensely helpful.

So imagine my intense chagrin this evening when, walking on the Esplanade to a free yoga class led by one of the owners of my studio, I catch an edge on the stairs and badly sprain my ankle. Surprisingly, the yoga did not aggravate the sprain; walking back to my car did. Christopher was wonderful and accompanied me to the emergency room, and then had to deal with the vagaries of Norwood restaurants not serving food after 10:00 pm. He was wonderful.

I am sore, and cranky, and likely put our lovely weekend in PA in jeopardy. I can barely walk. But, it's not broken, so that's something. And it was a lovely evening by the Charles River, despite the pain.

Doctor Robert - The Beatles

I Can Still Hear You Saying...

One of my favorite songs ever, from one of my favorite albums ever. This album formed me musically. I can remember being sent to bed by my father, when my mother worked nights. I would lie awake long after the lights were turned out, listening to the records he played while doing his paperwork at the dining room table. Zeppelin 4, Tommy, Bob Seger, and this album, over and over. At the age of 7, I had no idea what made it so wonderful, I just knew that it was.

The Chain - Fleetwood Mac

Day Late, Dollar Short

Slacker yesterday. No homework, yoga, cooked myself dinner, watched a movie, and the day just ran away from me.

I woke up with a headache this morning, so I'm looking for a quieter song.

Beat the Retreat - Richard and Linda Thompson

Some Clubs Should Be Closed

Ok, today, I'll talk a bit about Amy Winehouse. Yesterday I had happier things to sing about.

Tragic, but not a surprise, but still tragic. She had an amazing voice, and she channeled this incredible time in American music history and made it fresh for new audiences. Not that soul music ever really needed freshening, but sometimes it takes a different lens to see something for what it was worth. And I loved that first album, and the cadre of little Brit girls who grew up listening to Dusty belt them out that it spawned. But Amy was always a train wreck, and the world can't help but watch a train wreck.

Plus, the 27 Club really didn't need another member. Sad that music has lost another great talent.

Cupid - Amy Winehouse (Sam Cooke cover)

And I Feel Like I Just Got Home

I wanted to turn into a thousand rays of light and shoot out into the universe. That was my morning.

Joy.

Ray of Light - Madonna

Rocking The Sure Shot

Sesame Street breaks it down from Wonderful Creative on Vimeo.

Sure Shot - Beastie Boys/Sesame Street

Three For Thursday

Crazy from the heat, I think. Or just distracted by all the glitzy, earnest pop music ;)
Not only did I completely miss yesterday, Monday's song is actually a repeat. Though, for the life of me, I can't imagine why I would have posted Summer Breeze in November, except maybe for a mental vacation. So, to make up for the trauma, I bring you three songs I first heard in the summer time, another summer where I was (very) young, and crazy from the heat, and a dramatic breakup. This, the Elvis Costello song, and the Husker Du song all appeared on "the tape".

Enjoy. Stay cool.

Within Your Reach - The Replacements

Three For Thursday Make Up Song

Incidentally, in his book, Bob recalls being drunk when singing this one. I can believe it. I still love it, though.

Perfect Example - Husker Du

Three For Thursday Make Up Song

No Action - Elvis Costello and the Attractions

Happy Birthday, Colleen!!

Here's a soaring number from one of your favorite bands. It's a beautiful day, indeed ;)



Beautiful Day - U2

We've Got Bills To Pay, And We've Got Nothing Figured Out

Liz reminds me of the purpose of silly pop songs all the time. They are a broad-stroked canvas of the emotions we feel and experiences we have. And whereas the exact notes and colors may not be illustrated in a specific song, sometimes, they capture a mood and a feeling and a place in time much better than descriptions of those actual things ever could.

This song is a perfect case in point to this theory. Liz told me I needed to listen to this Taylor Swift song, because she felt it was perfect for my life right now. I know, Taylor Swift. But, she threw it on a cd, and I listened to it on my drive home from Red Bank yesterday. I've listened to it five more times since then, and every time that bridge comes, the verse about the fight, and the resolution, I start to cry. For real. Tears of recognition and of joy. Liz told me that this song began making her cry when Christopher and I got together. I guess she knew, too. The events are totally different, but the feeling, and the arc, is all about my love story right now. A potential joy playlist contender. Two stubborn, independent people falling in love and forging forward. And that piece she sings about, coming back to those initial moments ("sitting there by the water...") when it gets really hard, forcing yourself to remember what was good and wonderful and special, so that you wake up each morning and make that choice to stick with this person. Christopher and I get this, and we do this, and we relish every tiny moment of joy we have together because we know when it gets hard, someday, because it will, those moments will sustain us and pull us through it. The willingness and the hope and the tenacity is there, all in front of us.

So, Taylor, and Liz, thank you for giving us this song. It is perfect.



Mine - Taylor Swift

PS: The video is a bit much. Maybe. But I haven't taken the cd out of my car yet, and this was today's song. :)

July Is Dressed Up, And Playing Her Tune

An all-time favorite. It's helped me through bad times, and brought me simple joys in good ones.

Sweet days of summer, indeed.

Summer Breeze - Seals and Croft

Don't Be Fancy, Just Get Dancey

Invariably, when I come to New Jersey to hang out with Liz, she's playing me pop songs I've never heard before (because I listen to so little commercial radio), and is amazed when I don't know them. However, I DID know this one after a few minutes listening.

One night, Christopher, Cat, Beth, and I were out having drinks at a local pub, and there was a surprisingly good cover band, with an energetic female singer. Shaved head, white tank top, low rider jeans, and she KICKED this song. I mean, it was a jam. I grabbed her business card, because she books the bands for events, and I think I'd love it if they played at my 40th birthday party. They were good. And this song was a stand out.

We're heading out tonight with the girls. Beach Bar, Watermark, places on the Asbury Park boardwalk. So, raise your glass :)

We're Older Now, The Light Is Dim

I think my eyes still hurt from all the crying I did last night at the Harry Potter movie. So pleased that they told the piece of the story I needed them to tell correctly in proper fashion, as I sat and sobbed as I watched it unfold in front of me. So moving, and beautiful.

15 theaters showing the same movie at 12:01 am. Wonder of the modern age. It was like being at a live rock concert; bathroom lines, anticipation, parking lot delays.

But the film. Oh, the film. So beautiful. I can't wait to see it again. This song was used in Deathly Hallows Part 1.

O Children - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

The Moment, You Own It

A Facebook meme, this is my extra credit assignment. But since I think Marshall is a genius, I'll happily play a second round.

Song I love: Lose Yourself. It's menacing, it's powerful, it's a deep breath and a firm stance and a chance to prove yourself. LOVELOVELOVE this one.

Song I like: Sing For the Moment. Cheesy Aerosmith song and all. When he's not telling us to fuck ourselves, he's telling the kids that they control their own destiny; make it count.

Song I hate: FACK. Meh... not his best output.

Lose Yourself - Eminem

Listen, There's Music In The Air

A lovely afternoon in Provincetown today, to hear Bob read from his book. After which, he inscribed mine, "Dear Courtney, Thank you for all the years of friendship and support. Bob Mould"

Lots of happy bears roaming the streets, including a colleague. Everybody living their life, doing their thing. I sat on the deck of the Aqua Bar, drinking a PBR, watching the ocean, missing Christopher. But, it was still a good day.

See A Little Light - Bob Mould

All of the Fame and the Masquerade

Off to pick Christopher up at the airport, and then over to the arena to see KISS. Yes, for real. Scott, Brian, Kevin, and Kate will also be in attendance, so I am NOT alone in this rock and roll foolery.

This show is just glorious re-donk-oulous fun. No two ways about it. Joy :)

Do You Love Me? - KISS

Maybe It's The Time or The Place or The Things I See That Remind Me...

Years and years ago, I received the infamous "mix tape". I've written about it before, in some detail. I've always wanted to chronicle the songs on that tape, and I've been able to acquire most of them. This one, by Boston band The Neats, was a tough one to get my hands on, but here is footage from their reunion concert.

This tape was my Rosetta stone from Springsteen and Def Leppard to the wild world of alternative, and punk, and how emotional lyrical content could be raw and unmitigated.



Tear My Soul - The Neats

All That Lives On Is Love

Today, quite simply, was a day full of love...

Love - Victoria Williams

We Can Sleep On the Beach If We Ain't Got A Ride

This is a song from their first EP, and it just further proves why this band is a force to be reckoned with, and why they bring me such joy.

"I'll love you forever,
if I ever love at all,
with wild hearts,
blue jeans, and white t-shirts..."

Blue Jeans and White T-Shirts - The Gaslight Anthem

If I Leave You, It Doesn't Mean I Love You Any Less

This morning, listening to NPR, they concluded a story about the funeral of a MA soldier recently killed in Iraq, under "non-combat circumstances". One of his senior officers told NPR he was shot on base. No matter the circumstance, a soldier's death is always hard for family, friends, and community.

The end of the story had a music bed, which was an acoustic rendition of this song. Whether it was from the soldier's funeral, or an unidentified cover, I don't know, nor care. I began to cry, hard, at the wheel of my car, in the driving rain, at how sad this story truly is. My friend Meaghan later told me this soldier was one of her brother's recruits. Six degrees of separation, I guess.

I have always adored this song, for its place in Warren's canon, the sentiment behind it, its simplicity and beauty and frailty. When I die, someone should sing this because it will be what I want to say to you all when I go.

Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile

If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile

When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for while

There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sometimes when you're doing simple things around the house
Maybe you'll think of me and smile

You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for while

Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you

Engine driver's headed north to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for while

These wheels keep turning but they're running out of steam
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Keep me in your heart for while

And the Good Girls... Are Dancing in Erotic City?!?!?

The bar at the restaurant where we had dinner was playing videos, and they played this really odd version of Free Fallin'. I have no idea what this is all about, but here it is for your amusement/confusion :)



Free Fallin - Tom Petty

(Clearly not the official video)

You, Who Are On The Road, Must Have A Code That You Can Live By

The past few days have brought some things that have caused me to have arguments and snarky comments on Facebook. Because, really, that's what Facebook is for, arguments and snarky comments. I'm not commenting any further on Casey Anthony, because that outcry rings false, and besides, where is the outrage for all the other children who are victimized by those who are supposed to love them? Enough.

Today, what a distracting day. First, we have a piece of beauty about the nature of families, and how, if we're lucky, we get to make our own happiness. My bias should be apparent, but my sister is a tremendous writer, and to whoever needed to "clarify" her family to other people: BITE ME. Your unhappiness and insecurity need not bleed into her life.

Next, our lawmakers need to get their heads out of their assess. Building on the theme of love, marriage is love, as I've proclaimed, and fought for, for years. Tell your Congressmen abandon these silly pursuits and get down to the business that affects us all. Like the economy. Health care. National debt. Same-sex marriage will not destroy us, I promise.

Love often begets passion, and I am passionate about education, and special education, and about children achieving. Here is a terrific editorial, shared by one of my graduate school colleagues, that should cause us all to pause. I quote:

If your school teaches to the test, it’s not the test’s fault. It’s the leaders of your school.

This I believe. 100%.

Lastly, all that passion I've been ranting about caused me to rant, irrationally, about this piece. Which I didn't realize was fake until after I'd hit "send" to Christopher. He is allowed to laugh at my silliness and unwarranted outrage about Macca's publishing rights. ;)

I am nothing if not passionate. I make no apologies for it, either.


Teach Your Children - Crosby, Stills, and Nash

All I Want Is a Remedy

Repost, as I'm super busy, and even more annoyed. But summer is not the same without an Andrew story... :)

So many vivid summer memories of mine involve Andrew. This song wasn't really our song, but it was related to the last time I can remember him trying to protect me from something.

It was the summer this album came out, 1992. and I had been out at the Audobon Reservation with him and his friend Jim. I didn't know about the heroin use then, but that's how Andrew and Jim were friends. And, I was crushing on Jim bad; he looked like he should BE in the Black Crowes. And Andrew, knowing I didn't know about his darkness, just kept getting in the way. For all the drugs he did in his life, he wasn't ever going to be the one to introduce them into mine.

At any rate, we were having a gorgeous afternoon, and the three of us probably listened to this song, in the car's CASSETTE PLAYER, four or five times that day. So, I always think of that rock ledge, and the woods, and two fantastically trippy dudes dancing under the trees.

Remedy - The Black Crowes

Pretty As Can Be, Sitting In the Front Seat

A twangy little jam to get the day rocking! Happy 4th of July! Be safe, be well!

Fourth of July - Shooter Jennings

Mexican Kids are Shooting Fireworks Below

One of many fantastic songs I have for this holiday. Kind of sounds like my neighborhood the last few nights.

Fourth of July - X

The World It Owes You Nothing

Reading the autobiography of someone you know personally can be a little strange at times. Part of the story, you know really well, and other parts of the story take you by surprise. Bob writes prose the way he writes music: direct, unmitigated, unapologetic, resonant, emotional, tight.



I bought it yesterday, and have been slowly working my way through, his collected song output playing in the background. So far, it's been worth every page. This song seems to sum up so much of the underlying theme.

The Receipt - Bob Mould

Postcards We're Mailing Of Sky-blue Skies and Oceans

A year ago, I was adjusting to life in Galway. Trying to negotiate having a roommate, sleeping in a different bed, being away from everything familiar, making a completely new set of friends, even if for only "a short time". I was reeling, I'll be honest. I have always adjusted to big environmental changes slowly, and emotionally. But beneath the initial discomfort, I knew I was embarking on something that would change my life. Again, stretching myself in a new way. By the end of it all, I found it glorious, and wished I didn't have to leave the gorgeous, wild, Irish West.



When I returned, I knew that I had been on a great adventure. I came back renewed, as I took it as a chance to start over, not filter who I was or what I believed, or what I could do. I made friends and connections and rediscovered myself. Although the country was not all that unfamiliar or even different than my own, being there felt like that famous first step on a thousand mile journey. I knew Ireland would show me amazing things, but I had no idea how much of my SELF it would show me.

Every day since I've returned, I've longed to go back again. There's so much more I want to explore, sights I didn't see, pints I didn't drink, music I didn't hear, despite having heard so much, and seen so much, and yes, drunk so much. But mostly, I want to go back and put my feet on the soil of the country that, as part of my ancestral past, gave me the strength to keep moving on my future. Reconnect with that wild spirit that awoke mine.

This song is from the very first album I listened to after we landed, as we drove from Shannon to Galway, deliriously tired, but forcing ourselves to stay awake, because even the highways were new, and we didn't want to miss a thing.

Thousands Are Sailing - The Pogues