Midvale School for the Gifted Alumni Association

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Everywhere You Go, You Always Take the Weather With You

I disabled my OK Cupid account the other day, and I figured out why, just now.

I was sitting at my desk in my office, procrastinating (a little bored with paperwork and meetings, and more than a little annoyed and anxious), and while reading the headlines from my news reader, I opened a new tab and almost robotically went to the OKC tab in my saved sites list.


I'm looking for guys when I'm bored. Restless. Unsettled. And, what I tend to find, or attract to myself when I'm bored, restless, and unsettled are these great on paper, emotionally unavailable douchebags who start off with a bang and can't commit.

This needs to stop. I need to get un-bored with my down time. Stay focused at work, read and listen to music again. START BLOGGING REGULARLY. I was never bored at night when I was blogging on a daily basis.

I know what I'm "pining over" so to speak, and that creates the restlessness and the distraction, and the need to seek out attention from males.

I know how to stop this,too. It's the same instinct as eating an entire bag of chips in one sitting because you had nothing better to do. So, as Weight Watchers would say, I have to fill the hole in a more productive way.

Think positive, act positive, and positive things will come to you.



Blogger JMJ said...

WOW! What a realization! Since you know I have asked you questions about your motivation this was especially interesting to me. Have fun with your other activities!!! :)

9:45 PM  

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Midvale School For the Gifted

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    "So I walk like I'm on a mission, 'cuz that's the way I groove. I've got more and more to do, I've got less and less to prove. It took me too long to realize that I don't take good pictures 'cuz I have the kind of beauty that moves..." Ani D.
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